Great Quotes that Gave Me a Moment of Clarity

I just spent a few minutes reading some Erma Bombeck quotes, and I really enjoyed them. Thought you might too, I made my three favorite bold. Life is so simple, I think we complicate it, over and over again...

"Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids."

"My second favorite household chore is ironing.
My first one being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."

"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake
Christmas morning and not be a child."

"If a man watches three football games in a row,
he should be declared legally dead."

"The only reason I would take up jogging is so
I could hear heavy breathing again."

"Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most,
and rewards you for your courage."

"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."

"When I stand before God at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left,
and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"

"In general, my children refused to eat anything
that hadn't danced on TV."

"When humor goes, there goes civilization."

"Seize the moment. Think of all those women on
the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart."

"Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth."

"The grass is always greener over the septic tank."

"A child needs your love more when he deserves it least."

"There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain,
comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt."